Sacred Limitations

Limitations may not feel sacred.  Often we buck against them, believing ourselves to be invincible.  We want to jump higher, soar farther and drive faster.  If we could only overcome our own limitations, the world would be our oyster! So, we think.

With maturity, most of us grow beyond fighting our limitations to accepting them and maybe even embracing them.  They create boundary lines in our lives.  They help us to become clear on what we are able to do and what we cannot do. They guide us in setting and fulfilling expectations and obligations.

My question for us today is: Are we able to look at othersthrough the lens of limitation?

I’ve recently begun a paradigm shift regarding how I choose to see others.  I am learning(not there yet, but on my way) to understand that the behavior that I find so confounding in others in my life may be due to their own personal limitations rather than willful, deliberate choice.  This understanding has the potential to infuse my interactions with grace.

All of us come in contact with behavior that mystifies, hurts and even angers us.  Our own needs and traumas trigger a response in us that causes us to pull away, lash out or cling tighter to a person when they behave in certain ways.

Instead of looking at my loved ones with the assumption that they are simply not making the right choice, what if I look at them with grace? What if I realize that sometimes, a person is simply acting within their limitations?  Some of those limitations are beyond their control.

For the one who distances themselves from me, can I concede that maybe their state of overwhelm is simply too much to enable them to interact?

For the one who does not protect me, can I concede that they are limited by their own need for safety and in how much strength they have?

For the one who views the world through a lens that I consider selfish and individualistic, can I concede that their journey has been different from mine, that I feel that they are limited in their sight because we have not seen the same things?

And in all of the situations and more, am I willing to concede my own limitations?  I have blind spots, I have places that lack courage, I have times of severe overwhelm too.

There are times when people do wrong things simply by willful choice. There are times for calling out bad behavior.  But, in my interpersonal relationships, I am trying to choose to see others through a lens of grace, recognizing that we all have limitations.  For me, this bears more fruit and causes less pain in my inner heart than assuming the worst.

May you be graced with others today who accept you, just as you are, limitations and all, and point the way for you to do the same.